marriage bed symbol

marriage bed symbol

Thursday, December 28, 2017

Quiz: Am I Approaching Marital Burnout?

From Nijole Benokraitis, Marriages and Families, Fifth Edition, 2005, p. 275:

“All marriages have ups and downs, and checking off even as many as seven of the following items doesn’t necessarily mean your marriage is in trouble.

However, the more items you check, the wiser you may be to look further into these symptoms of burnout. The earlier you recognize symptoms, according to some practitioners, the better your chances of improving your marriage…

  1. You’ve lost interest in each other.
  2. You feel bored with each other
  3. There’s a lack of communication; neither of you listens to the other.
  4. You seem to have little in common.
  5. Deep down, you want a divorce.
  6. There’s a lack of flexibility; you can no longer compromise with each other.
  7. Minor irritations become major issues.
  8. You no longer try to deal honestly with important issues.
  9. You find yourself making family decisions alone.
  10. You have no desire for physical touching of any kind.
  11. Your relationships with other people are more intimate than your relationship with your spouse.
  12. The children have begun to act up; they have frequent trouble at school, get into fights with friends, or withdraw.
  13. One of you controls the other through tantrums, violence, or threats of suicide or violence.
  14. You are both putting your own individual interests before the good of the marriage.
  15. You can’t talk about money, politics, religion, sex, or other touchy subjects.
  16. You avoid each other.
  17. One or both of you subjects the other to public humiliation.
  18. You have increasing health problems, such as headaches, back pain, sleeplessness, high blood pressure, recurring colds, or emotional ups and downs.
  19. One or both of you is abusing alcohol or other drugs.
  20. Shared activities and attendance at family functions decrease.
  21. One or both of you is irritable and sarcastic.
  22. You are staying in the relationship because it is easier than being on your own.

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