How Close Is Our Relationship?
By: Gottman and Silver (1999,81-82)
Put a T (true) or F (False) next to each of the following. At the end, add up the total of each.
- We enjoy doing small things together, like folding laundry or watching TV.
- I look forward to spending my free time with my (spouse).
- At the end of the day, my (spouse) is glad to see me.
- My (spouse) is usually interested in hearing my views.
- I really enjoy discussing things with my (spouse).
- My (spouse)is one of my best friends.
- I think my (spouse) would consider me a very close friend.
- We love talking to each other.
- When we go out together, the time goes very quickly.
- We always have a lot to say to each other.
- We have a lot of fun together.
- We are spiritually very compatible.
- We tend to share the same basic values.
- We tend to spend time together in similar ways.
- We have a lot of common interests.
- We have many of the same dreams and goals.
- We like to do a lot of the same things.
- Even though our interest are somewhat different, I enjoy my (spouse’s) interests.
- Whatever we do together, we usually tend to have a good time.
- My (spouse) tells me when he or she has had a bad day.
If you score 10 or more, your marriage is strong. If you get a total less than ten, your marriage could use some development.