marriage bed symbol

marriage bed symbol

Sunday, July 23, 2017

The Best Possible Sex – Loss of the Spirit

In case you missed it, here are the first 7 articles in this series:Part 1, Part 2, Part 3Part 4 , Part 5 Part 6 , and Part 7

How can a loss of the Spirit disrupt the formula for the best possible sex?

Sister Wendy Watson Nelson, in her talk Love and Marriage[i] , shared this insight about the role the Spirit plays in marital sex:

“Marital intimacy is ordained by God. It is commanded and commended by Him, because it draws a husband and wife closer together AND closer to the Lord.

True marital intimacy involves the whole soul of each spouse. It is the uniting of the body AND the spirit of the husband with the body AND the spirit of his wife.

Just imagine…He can purify your feelings! Therefore, ANYTHING that invites the Spirit into your life and into the life of your spouse and your marriage will increase your ability to experience marital intimacy. It really is as simple, and as profound, as that.

On the other hand, anything that offends the Spirit will decrease your ability to be one with your spouse. Things such as anger, lust, unforgiveness, contention, immorality and unrepented sin will reduce your attempt for marital intimacy to be something that’s nothing more than a sexual experience.

While worldly sex is under the influence of the world and the Adversary, and involves carnal, sensual, and devilish passions, God ordained marital intimacy as under the influence of the Spirit and involves Spirit-enhanced and purified passions.
The truth is, the more pure you are, the more marvelous your marital intimacy will be.

With worldly sex, anything goes. With marital intimacy, exquisite care is taken to avoid anything and everything, from language to music to movies, that offends the Spirit, your spirit, or your spouse’s.

While worldly sex is lustful, and kills love, marital intimacy generates more love.
Worldly sex degrades men and women, and their bodies, degrades the body as a plaything, while marital intimacy honors men and women, and celebrates the body as one of the great prizes of mortal life.

With worldly sex, individuals can feel used, abused, and ultimately, more lonely. With marital intimacy, spouses feel more united, loved, nurtured, and understood.

Worldly sex ravages and eventually ruins relationships. Marital intimacy strengthens marriages. It supports, heals, and hallows the lives of spouses and their marriage.

Worldly sex has been likened to the toot of a flute, while marital intimacy has been likened to the grandeur of an entire orchestra.”

Repent…for the best possible sex…?

The best possible sex is not just intercourse.

It includes sex, but it’s not just sex.

It’s all the functional forms of love, operating together as part of that full symphony of intimacy. Marital intimacy is the coming together of a man and woman, sexually, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. Two people united in purpose and heart and mind and spirit.

We can literally be sanctified and worthier to have the Holy Ghost with us by having sex with our spouse – if we do it the right way.

World Cannot Teach Sexuality with the Spirit

This turns the world’s reasoning on its head, where the worldly peak of experience involves having the best, most involved, ‘non-vanilla’ physical experience possible.

The secular world doesn’t consider the spiritual aspect of our lives at all. They do try to use the physical to access the spiritual, but to them, it’s in a temporal perspective – using the tantric energy flows in the body, which is still using the body. The Holy Spirit cannot be accessed that way. Using chemical means or harder, more physically punishing experiences to help drown out the pain of life is not the same thing as accessing the Spirit.

But this is what the gospel promises (and delivers on)[ii]. Those who trade this promise away for mere physical experience in the wrong context are getting only a fraction of what’s available to mortals sexually.

Those who focus strictly on the physical in marriage, or seek worldly sources for learning without incorporating spiritual improvement, often find themselves equally frustrated, and are unable to truly find the sweet, liberating peace that comes from the Holy Ghost.

No Shortcuts

A loss of the Spirit shuts us out from having the best possible sex. Only repentance, humility and obedience will open that door and keep it open. There’s no cheating the Holy Ghost. We either do what is required of it or we don’t get to have the “full orchestra” promised from having it with us in our married sexual relationship.[iii]


Join us next time as we discuss how not scheduling time for marital intimacy affects the formula for the best possible sex.

[i] Watson Nelson, Wendy. Love and Marriage. From a young adult devotional given in January 2017.

[ii] John 14:26-27 – No one but the Savior controls who gets the Holy Ghost and how they get it. No one can legislate that, no one can create laws to change how we access it, or cheat or protest or steal their way into it. There’s no equivalent counterfeit of the Spirit. We either do what Christ requires, or we don’t get it.
[iii] D&C 121


Scott Riffenburg said...

Amazingly insightful and humbling, thank you.

CoachSam said...

You're welcome Scott! Thank you for reading!