WARNING: This post contains a topic of a sacred sexual nature and is intended for married couples only. Reader discretion is advised.
We're still talking about what President Kimball may have meant, when he referred to 'secret sexual sins' in marriage, and what can be done to avoid them. Another aspect of this refers to...
Protecting the Body of Your Spouse
Physically abusing a spouse during sex is a sin. Keeping it a secret between the husband and wife only makes it worse.[i]
Another scripture that Elder Kimball referenced in this section[ii] was Paul’s counsel to married couples:
“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself…(Ephesians 5:28)
Just as we protect our own bodies from physical harm, we should protect our spouse’s body as well. If doing a particular sexual practice causes physical harm or discomfort to our spouse, that practice should be discontinued until we know enough to not harm them in that way.
Any sexual practice can be uncomfortable, depending on the circumstances. Even missionary position can hurt if spouses aren’t properly communicating with each other. Other practices, such as oral or anal sex, can be done comfortably and safely with proper knowledge, preparation, and communication. Effective communication overall is the key to keeping each other safe physically
Some kinds of extreme sexual practices, whose very nature involves harming the body or that can even threaten life itself (burning, bloodletting, erotic-asphyxiation, S&M, etc.) have absolutely no place in an LDS marriage. The body is sacred, and should always be treated as such by both spouses.[iii]
[i] “Our behavior in public must be above reproach. Our behavior in private is even more important.” – Gordon B. Hinckley, April 2002 Conference
[ii] Kimball, Spencer W., The Miracle of Forgiveness, Bookcraft, UT, 1969, 73-74
[iii] 1 Corinthians 6: 19-20; also 1 Corinthians 3:16-17. The talk on the Word of Wisdom given by Boyd K. Packer in April 1996 talks about blessings that come from protecting the body, which can also apply to our sexual practices, even though sex practices are not specifically spelled out in the Word of Wisdom. The spirit of this law is there: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1996/04/the-word-of-wisdom-the-principle-and-the-promises?lang=eng