marriage bed symbol

marriage bed symbol

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Sex Toys In The LDS Marriage Part 8 of 11

 WARNING: This post contains a topic of a sacred sexual nature and is intended for married couples only. Reader discretion is advised.
 
 Click here in case you missed part [1], [2], [3] ,[4], [5], [6],and [7]
 
What if my spouse starts to prefer the sex toy instead of having sex with me?

While toys are helpful and (let’s admit it) often just plain good marital fun, they cannot truly replace intimacy with a live human being in a loving interaction.[i]

Toys can stimulate the sensitive nerves that bring a person to orgasm, but they don’t do pillow talk. They don’t caress you lovingly. They don’t trigger those biochemical; ionic interactions that create the full experience of talking, touching, tasting, and sharing that is human intimacy.They also do not complete our sexual cycles that enable us to fulfill the full measure of our creations.

While you’ve satisfied one aspect of you (the body), a lot of other parts go unsatisfied if all you ever do is use a sex toy.

If this is a concern, it would be an excellent opportunity to have an open conversation about this with your spouse. Talk about what they or you may feel is missing from the relationship. Do they trust you with their feelings to let go and be vulnerable with you? Such conversations are sometimes difficult to have, but they are well worth the effort. Overcoming conflict together intensifies intimacy.

If the barrier is deeper than this, a marriage counselor can be helpful here. The rule of thumb here is that sex is supposed to be used as a tool to strengthen your eternal bond. Sex toys should be used to enhance that, not separate you or push you apart.


[i]“Should I Be Worried About My Wife and Her Dildo? (a secular reference, but has some useful advice about sexual communication between a man and a wife): http://sexuality.about.com/od/sexual_worries/a/wife_and_dildo.htm