marriage bed symbol

marriage bed symbol

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Sex Toys In The LDS Marriage Part 7 of 11

 WARNING: This post contains a topic of a sacred sexual nature and is intended for married couples only. Reader discretion is advised.
 Click here in case you missed part [1], [2], [3] ,[4], [5], and [6]

A husband or wife may also carry this belief with them:

Sex toys are immoral because they don’t assist in procreation.

Actually, they very much can be an aid in the procreation process.

Stimulation of the clitoris helps to prepare the vagina for sex. similar to the penis, when stimulated, the vaginal walls become engorged with blood. The vagina will also self-lubricate. This increases feeling for both the husband and wife when he inserts his penis. As arousal continues and if he has inserted himself, the vagina is self-adjusting. This means it adjusts to the shape,size and length of the husband’s penis. The cervix also moves down to meet the head of the penis.

If the wife is brought to orgasm (and she can have more than one), after he has released his semen, the cervix has been shown to engage in a dipping motion into the pool of semen at the back of the vagina. This is believed to help in the conception process.[i]

The chemical release of dopamine after ejaculation causes the husband to become very drowsy and briefly disoriented. Here is where a vibrator can come in handy to allow the wife to come to orgasm if the husband has already achieved one. It is during her orgasm when the dipping action takes place, which helps aid in the conception process.I find this debunks the idea of making sure "she comes first." If you're trying to conceive, it's actually more beneficial if he helps her orgasm second. 

Since his ability to obtain an erection has been spent, and his reward chemical release has temporarily disabled him, a sex toy can come in very handy here. He can use it on his wife, or he can hold her while she uses it on herself.

Procreation is not the only reason for married couples to be intimate with each other.[ii] If this were the case, the sex drive would naturally diminish in both healthy men and women (especially women) as the childbearing years ended…but this is not the case.

In many cases, women in particular often experience a heightened desire for having sex as they age. This can be especially true past menopause. Why would this happen if procreation were the only reason for having sex?

Dr. Helen Fisher teaches that this may be due to our ancestral natural selection biological make-up. A trait (particular to humans) where sex is not only used for procreation, but also as a way to keep the male around to help raise the children.[iii] From an eternal perspective, it is also a way the Lord has designed as a balm to help a couple cope with the challenges of marriage and to keep the couple together for all eternity.

Using sex toys shouldn’t be the only kind of sexual activity a couple has. We’ve been counseled to not have sex to the exclusion of activities that result in procreation. Having babies is still a vital function, and the Lord has commanded us to have children where age and health permit,[i] but that doesn’t mean that every intimate encounter has to be missionary position vaginal intercourse. Sex toys are certainly allowable as a tool in a married couple’s sexually intimate repertoire

[i] Packer, Boyd K. The Plan of Happiness, April 2015 Conference

[ii] “Marriage between a man and a woman is fundamental to the Lord’s doctrine and crucial to God’s eternal plan. Marriage between a man and a woman is God’s pattern for a fulness of life on earth and in heaven. God’s marriage pattern cannot be abused, misunderstood, or misconstrued.33 Not if you want true joy. God’s marriage pattern protects the sacred power of procreation and the joy of true marital intimacy.” – Russell M. Nelson, “Decisions For Eternity”, Ensign, Nov 2013,, (emphasis added)
[iii] Helen Fisher and Eric Meyers. “Science of the Sexes”, Discovery Channel Classics, Not Rated, 2008

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