Henny Youngman coined the phrase, “Take my wife…please.” It was an axiom that rewarded him with raucous laughter, made him famous on the Ed Sullivan show, and immortalized him.
Since that time, many comedians made wives and marriage the butt of their jokes. The media (which once produced shows that portrayed marriage as a positive, loving institution and a mainstay of society) found it more profitable to produce shows that denigrate and mock traditional marriage. They did this because it made people laugh. As most professional comedians will tell you, people like to laugh at irony.
The trouble is, when irony is shown often enough, it culturally conditions us to take it as truth over long exposure. Married couples today still look for opportunities to throw the piercing lines at each other used in shows like “Married With Children” and “The Goldbergs” because they think…well…it’s funny.
It has become part of our popular culture to refer to our wives as our “ball and chain” or “the old lady.”
They may think they are being funny, or that these are terms of endearment, but the reality is – it hurts. It’s selfish, and does nothing to edify a relationship that desires to be on the track to an eternal one.
Negative idioms have led many to believe that traditional marriage has lost its value…that married couples all spend their time mocking marriage and each other…that married sex is the end of good sex, and that all marriages will eventually end in divorce.
What I found is that when we turn off the sardonic voices and stand up to look around, we’ll find that this simply isn’t the voice of the majority. There are many husbands (not just newlyweds) who love, value, cherish, protect and care for their wives.
In just doing a quick Google search, I found many. Here is what just twenty different husbands are saying they love about their wives:
- She lets me have sex with her every once in a while ~ Punkly
- She is a great mom to our kids. ~ Don
- She honors her mother and mine. What husband doesn’t love that? ~ Jason F. Wright
- She thinks I look really good. I’m over weight and going bald, but from her perspective you’d think I look just like Brad Pitt. ~ Rob Shepherd
- I love when she puts her feet on my lap while we are watching TV and asks me to rub them. ~ Eric Dingler
- …there would be this look she would give me. This look of absolute love. One that was soft and so beautiful. ~ Elad Nehorai
- She’s honest with me, even when it’s hard for me to hear. ~ Shawn Cartwright
- She is ALWAYS on my side. No matter what. ~ doompaul
- She’s a woman I get to admire up close while others can only admire her from afar. ~ Matt Keller
- Because she patiently listens to me blather on about theology and what-not (and usually looks interested). ~ Jared
- She is great about initiating the spiritual things when I forget to. ~ Matt
- She forgives me when I screw up ~ macengr
- …my constant cheerleader and my biggest fan. ~ Michael Hyatt
- Because she has not left me because I didn't take her somewhere nice for our honeymoon ~ Alex Tourangeau
- Holding her at night is a sacred ritual that makes my heart slow and body relax with the knowledge that I am home.~ Tom Matlack
- During tough times, she never gave up on us. ~ Tony
- She teaches my kids to love Jesus Christ—by word and example. ~ Nate Archer
- Feeling her hand unexpectedly on my shoulder. ~ Chris Brundage
- She is always willing to help someone in need. ~ TWJ
- There's an inner layer that keeps someone compelled for the rest of their life, enjoying the journey of discovering the rest of her. ~ Chad Parsons
We have the potential to be a powerful voice in letting the world know just how awesome it is to be married. Let’s start by telling our wives daily (in public and private) how much we love them.